sir please leave the caption writing for people who are actually funny
sir please leave the caption writing for people who are actually funny
Instead of moaning during climax, whisper “great googly moogly” in their ear.
100% success record 10/10 would do again.
ah yes i have finally found it
the g spot
lay nudes at my gravestone, not flowers. flowers will wither away, but a bomb ass booty is forever
this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object.
but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me.
I am so confused. Like is this the wrong gif paired with the text? or are you analyzing it as a sex gif or what i dont know.
it’s a joke. the joke is that there is an incongruity between the text, which is an actual description of a sex gif i have copied and pasted, and the actual image. the juxtaposition is humorous because it is unexpected and ridiculous; not only for the obvious lack of sex between pooh and his target, but also because of lines such as “[…] how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough.” this example is in direct opposition with the action of the .gif: pooh and the man are in the beginnings of a physical altercation, there is no intimacy here. they are looking at each other with fear on one end and aggression on the other, and if they were to be able to get “close enough,” it would lead pooh to strike this man with the bat. i hope this helps and that you are able to laugh at my joke. please laugh at my jokes.
2 days ago
44,636 notes
seeing a selfie of someone you dont like on your dash
OH MY GOD BABY WEASELS
THEYRE SO CUTE AND TINY WHAT THE HECK
i would describe myself as “heart eyes emoji disguised as sunglasses emoji.” once u get through my sick and chill exterior u find a lot of love
I spent the later part of this week working on this friendly little Sloth.
Very happy with the finished product, and I hope you like it too!
Also, here is a video about Sloths, with the quote ”slipperier than a greased pig”
2 days ago
9,521 notes
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”
The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
simon says you’re a little bitch